JC vs. PT
by Zanza
Summary: All the Voyager freaks worship holy couples
1. The Battle

It was a beautiful day. The J/Cers were worshipping their favorites of the 9 gods, Janeway and Chakotay. Those who weren't were using ancient stones to scribe drabbles, stories, poems, haikus, and prayers about their favorite characters. Among them was J/Cer1, whos favorite thing to write were drabbles. She was just beginning her 3rd that day when Zanza started screaming.   
"They're coming! The P/Ters! They're coming! They're going to knock down our holy shrines!"  
All the J/Cers started screaming eratically, not that that was abnormal. Then J/Cer3 started running down the mountain.   
"They're bringing all the K/7ers!"  
"Oh no!" exclaimed J/Cer1, who had been putting her drabble-stones in a safe place so they wouldn't shatter during the battle.   
"Is there anybody we can enlist?" asked J/Cer4.   
"Well," said J/Cer 5, "The few who worship Kes and Neelix said they would fight alongside us in any battle."   
"Like that really helps." snorted Zanza. "We'll have 5 more people to fight with us. Big whoop."  
"I bet," said J/Cer3, "We could enlist all the K/Ters, considering the battle will be against two of their mortal enemys."  
"Good idea," said J/Cer4. "Anybody else?"  
"Well," said J/Cer5, "There are a whole lot of J/Pers, and the P/Ters are one of their mortal enemies.  
"Hello? Did you forget something? We're also their Mortal enemies." said Zanza  
"Oh, yeah." said J/Cer5. "Sorry."  
"Oh, c'mon, Zanza, stop being sarcastic." said J/Cer1  
"The only reason I'm in this story in the first place is so I can be sarcastic."  
"Whatever." said J/Cer1.  
"Wait a sec." said J/Cer3.  
"What?" asked J/Cer4.  
"Don't a lot of us have some connection to the P/Ters and K/7ers... like a couple mentions in our stories, friends, ect." said J/Cer3.  
"Yeah." said a lot of the J/Cers.  
"Then you guys can greet them. Especially you, J/Cer6." said J/Cer3  
"Awwwww..." said J/Cer6. "I wanted to help you enlist the K/Ters."  
"You have very strong connections to our enemies. All right! J/Cer3, you have the K/T assignment. J/Cer1, go inform the worshippers of Kes and Neelix. Those with 'connections' may wait for our enemies. If you aren't someone with a 'connection', then you may go with J/Cer3 or J/Cer1. They will be in charge. I'll wait at the holy Shrine in case they take a wrong turn. J/Cer7, you're with me. Oh, and the 'connection' people will be led by J/Cer6." said J/Cer4.  
J/Cer6 started dancing.  
"You dance like a Ferengi." commented Zanza.  
*  
"J/Cer4!" yelled J/Cer3. May I introduce K/Ter1, the leader of the K/Ters, for now at least. And this is K/Ter2, her second in command."  
"Pleased to meet you." said Zanza, who was coming down the hill.  
"Zanza-a! You're supposed to be with the 'connectors.'" complained J/Cer7.  
"I was." said Zanza. "But my friend, Hannie, is still mad at me, and not even 1 K/7er had ever heard of me or my stories. So I decided to come back here."  
"Pleased to meet you, J/Cer4, J/Cer7, Zanza." said K/Ter1. "But I am curious as to why you are fighting the P/Ters. They do not oppose you or your holy pair."  
"Yeah," said J/Cer4,"but we oppose their status."  
"I don't get it." said K/Ter2.  
"Me either." said K/Ter1."  
"Well," said J/Cer7, "there are many of us, even more of us than there are P/Ters, so they think of us as enemies because we oppose their popular status when our pair only exists in our minds, our holy inscriptions, and our holy shrines."  
"Whatever." said K/Ter2.  
"Ok..." said K/Ter1. "Anyway, I am prepared to make a deal with you. Whenever there is a battle between us and the P/Ters, you fight alongside us. Whenever there is a battle between you and the P/Ters, we fight alongside you."  
"May we change those a leetle bit?" asked J/Cer4.  
"Howso?" asked K/Ter2.  
"We only fight together when the P/Ter pursue us, we cannot pursue the P/Ters." said J/Cer4  
"That's OK, but why?"  
"We are bound to the holy rules of Janeway, so we may not pursue, or help pursue a battle." said J/Cer7.  
"Hey, could you stop saying 'pursue'? It's creeping me out." said Zanza.  
*  
Both the J/Cers and the P/Ters were in formation for battle, with their partner(s) along side them. Every single pair was right in the middle of a holy battle prayer. Suddenly, a bell rang.  
"Oh!" said J/Cer5. "It's time for worshipping."  
All the groups scattered towards their temple.  
*  
After prayers, J/Cer1 got our her drabbles again. J/Cer6 came down and sat down next to her.   
"Whatcha writin'?" asked J/Cer6.  
"A drabble." said J/Cer1. She noticed the rock in J/Cer6's hand. "What about you?"  
"A story featuring P/T, J/C, and K/7." said J/Cer6.   
Zanza came down at sat next to them.  
"Hey, Zanza." said J/Cer1. What are you writing?"  
"A recollection of this battle."  
  
The End  
{for now Bwahahahaha}  



	2. The Next Dohingy

"Look what I found! You guys! Look!" screamed J/Cer8.  
"Yeah, that's nice, but what is it?" said J/Cer10.  
"I dunno," said J/Cer8,"ask J/Cer9."  
"Don't even bother." said J/Cer9."  
"Let's ask J/Cer3!" said J/Cer10.  
*  
Mentally, the J/Cers divided themselves into groups of 7. The "first" 7 were as usual. J/Cer4 and J/Cer7 were chatting endlessly, J/Cer1 and J/Cer6 were discussing stories, J/Cer3 was thinking, J/Cer5 was drawing, and Zanza was applying her lotion.  
"Ahhhh!" screamed Zanza.  
"What?" asked J/Cer4.  
"Oh, something clawed me, but it was just my lotion bottle."  
"Oh, Zanza," said J/Cer4. "Why do you mess with you lotion so much?"  
"Hey, at least I don't use eye shadow like some people I know." said Zanza. J/Cer6 and J/Cer7 got guilty expressions.  
"Hey look!" said J/Cer6 quickly, "It's J/Cer8, J/Cer9, and J/Cer10."  
"Hi!" said J/Cer5.  
"Well," said J/Cer9, "J/Cer8 found this thing--"  
"It's a thingymajij!" yelled J/Cer3. Everyone looked at her. "Nevermind, sorry."  
"--and we don't know what it is." contined J/Cer10 for J/Cer9. J/Cer9 stuck her tounge out at J/Cer10. Zanza went up to it and turned two knows, then flipped a switch.  
"THIS IS RADIO..." it yelled. The 10 J/Cers screamed at the same time. J/Cer4 moved the switch.  
"Cool!" said J/Cer7. "Let's put it with all the other dohingys!" J/Cer8 led the way, holding the 'dohingy.'  
The Dohingy room was right next to the movie theater, where the J/Cers watched all the new Voyager episodes and more commonly, Coda, Resolutions, Shattered and others. Recently the J/Cers had started taking after their new friends the K/Ters and threatening the screen when it went against their holy pairing.  
At the sight of the television, the 10 J/Cers put in Resolutions. At the end, when Tuvok brings the cure, J/Cer5 got up and started screaming.  
"Tuvok, you brat! Go away! You just need to die!" said J/Cer5  
"Oh, no!" moaned Zanza  
"Why'd you have to say that?" asked J/Cer7.  
"Sorry." said J/Cer5 meekly. The J/Cers got in their formation (a circle) and J/Cer1, the "doctor" for that week, started "reviving" them. The 'die ritual' took forever.  
"The things we hafta do to be J/Cers." said J/Cer10 when they were done. J/Cer8 had collapsed onto the floor.  
"Hey!" said J/Cer3 "While we're in a holy mood..."  
"Trust me, we're NOT in holy mood." said J/Cer1. 


	3. The Domain of the K/7ers

Twas a pretty summers day and all was aglow...  
"You actually wrote down that corny thing? Oh, c'mon, K/7er1!" said K/7er2.  
"Well sor-ry!" said K/7er1.  
"Hey you guys!" said K/7er3. "Look what I found! Do you know what it is?"  
"Well duh!" said K/7er2. "Don't you watch Star Trek? It's an Akoonah. Y'know, like Chakotay has."  
"Oh... I bet the J/Cers would really appreciate this. Maybe I should take this to them." said K/7er3.  
"Hello? Where'd you leave your brain this morning?" said K/7er4, who had been eavesdropping. "We're allianced with the P/Ters! And who do the P/Ters love tofight? The J/Cers! And who do the J/Cers probably hate by now? Us!"  
"Oh." was all K/7er3 could think to say.  
"Oh look!" said K/7er1. "It's P/Ter2!" K/7er1 ran over to talk to her friend.  
*  
K/7er3 was running towards the J/C camp. Hopefully she could get there and back before the K/7ers missed her. There was hardly anyone visible at the J/C camp. In fact, she could only see one. It looked like she was making a holy inscription, or a story.  
"Hello." said K/7er3 softly, whil sitting next to the J/Cer.  
"Oh, hello." Who are you?" said the J/Cer.  
"I'm K/7er3. I'm a K/7er. What's your name." said K/7er3.  
"I'm J/Cer1. What brings you here?" said J/Cer1.  
"Oh, I found this..." K/7er3 held up the Akoonah, "... and I thought you might want it."  
"Thank you very much." said J/Cer1.  
"What are you writing?" asked K/7er3.  
"A drabble. They're my favorite thing to write. Zanza's always teasing me about it." said J/Cer1.  
"Zanza?" inquired K/7er3.  
"The most sarcastic J/Cer." said J/Cer1.  
"Sounds like K/7er4." said K/7er3.  
"Who's the most annoying K/7er?" aske J/Cer1.  
"Oh, I don't know. Probably K/7er2. Who's the most annoying J/Cer?" asked K/7er3.  
"Probably J/Cer5. She's always doing really crazy things." said J/Cer1.  
"Well, I guess I have to go now." said K/7er3. "Maybe... you could come visit me sometime?"  
"Of course," said J/Cer1, "and you visit me whenever you want."  
"Thank you! Bye!" yelled K/7er3 as she ran back to her camp.   
  



	4. The J/P Cops

JC vs. PT  
The JP Cops  
By Zanza  
  
J/Cer1 sat down to write (another) drabble. Somewhere,  
she anticipated a huge rolling of the eyes for Zanza's   
direction. She was feeling extremly J/C-like this morning  
and she needed to get it all out. She looked up, and  
saw everyone, not just Zanza, rolling their eyes. So she  
decided to boldly go to a place where no J/Cer had gone   
before- no relationshipper either, for that matter.  
***  
She had been sitting there for a while when she became aware  
of someone else looking over her shoulder. They knew that   
she knew that theyr were there.  
  
"Hmmm... Janeway kissing Chakotay. I'm sorry, I'll have to  
arrest you." said J/Per1.  
  
"And why would you want to do that?" asked J/Cer1.  
  
"Because you are putting one of the most holy ones, Janeway,  
with a lower being, Chakotay." J/Ver3 came running down the   
hill, with awhole troop of J/Cer, ready for battle behind her.  
  
"Just who are you calling a lower being?" yelled J/Cer9.  
  
"Why, Chakotay, of course." said J/Per2, running down the   
other hill. All the J/Cers started doing the curse chant  
so all the J/Pers would be cursed.  
  
"So," said J/Ver4 when they were done, "why are you trying  
to arrest J/Cer1?"  
  
"We are the J/P cops. We arrest anyone who dares to oppose  
Janeway and Paris, the holyest couple." All the J/Cers pretended  
to barf. J/Cer11 actually did barf.  
  
"Zanza, scare them to death." ordered J/Cer5.  
  
"J/Cer10?" asked Zanza. They began waltzing through the J/Pers.  
J/Per3's mouth dropped open. J/Cer9 started playing the violin.  
J/Cer10 started singing.  
  
"Is your dancing always this subdued?" she started.  
  
"No, It's only when you're standing on my feet." sang Zanza.   
They continued singing strange things until the J/P Cops ran   
away. The J/Cers cheered.   
  
"I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of them," said J/Cer4.  
  
The End (of the neverending story)  



End file.
